Tips for Self-Growth

Learn more about why self-growth is important and how to achieve it.

Self-growth, sometimes referred to as “personal growth” or “personal development,” is a process of developing new skills, attitudes, actions, or reactions that can have a positive impact on your life and increase your overall well-being. Self-growth can often involve an increase in personal resources, including self-esteem and coping skills, and changes in life and philosophies, such as deeper spirituality, redefined priorities, and a greater appreciation of life (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004; Taubman-Ben-Ari & Weintroub, 2008). For example, clinicians working with trauma survivors reported self-growth that involved a change in their personalities, such as greater sensitivity, compassion, insight, tolerance, and empathy, and deepened their appreciation for the resilience of the human spirit (Arnold et al., 2005).

Self-growth can look different for all of us. Some examples of self-growth may include:

• Learning to control your emotions

• Developing a growth mindset

• Learning resilience

• Connecting with your body

• Accepting what you cannot change

• Knowing yourself

• Beating procrastination

• Improving emotional intelligence

Self-growth might help you improve your relationships with your coworkers, managers, partner, friends, and also with yourself. Here are some reasons why self-growth is important:

• It forces you out of your comfort zone. When you leave your comfort zone (that space where you feel safe and in control) and work toward the growth zone (where you can set new goals and find your true purpose), you can reach your full potential. As the saying goes, “The best sailors aren’t born in smooth waters.”

• Self-actualization. Abraham Maslow’s (1943) theory of human motivation argues that once we satisfy our “basic” and “psychological” needs, the next requirement is for personal growth and fulfillment. This is important because, for instance, not striving for growth might mean falling into a state of passivity later in life (Page, 2021).

• Developing a growth mindset. A growth mindset means that people believe their intelligence and talents can be developed over time, while a fixed mindset means that your intelligence and skills are fixed, so if you’re not good at something, you might believe you’ll never be good at it. Research shows that those with a growth mindset achieve more than those with a fixed mindset in school, jobs, and personal life (Dweck, 2008). Having a growth mindset goes hand in hand with self-growth, as it broadens the possibilities and inspires you to work on yourself.

Tips for Self-Growth

There are a few ways to grow; some might require a long-term commitment or investment while others might be easier to access. Some tips to get started on self-growth include:

• Meditate. Meditation has numerous benefits for your mental and physical health. When you meditate, you practice and learn self-awareness, an important skill that can help you on this path of personal growth.

• Journaling. Writing in a journal not only has cathartic effects on your mental health—it can ease stress and anxiety—but also has important benefits for your personal growth. When you write down your thoughts and behaviors, you can start to notice patterns, which is a great way to increase your self-awareness.

• Read. When you read books, you get invaluable insight into human nature, what makes us tick and why, and how others see and interact with the world. Whether that’s about love, the inevitable repetition of history, or a totalitarian regime in a dystopian world, reading is a good habit for self-growth.

• Use positive affirmations and words. Positive affirmations and self-talk can be helpful for your overall well-being, including a decrease in depression and an increase in life expectancy (Beigues et al., 2021). This can inspire you to start and get you motivated to pursue your self-growth journey.

• Be curious and gentle. Self-growth doesn’t mean that you are not “enough” or that you should pursue perfection. Rather it is about accepting yourself as you are and creating a safe space for you to dig deeper into what you could be.

• Less is more. When people solve problems, they tend to add things together rather than take things away, even when adding more goes against our best interests (Adams et al., 2021). When it comes to personal growth, some people tend to add new skills or certifications. Still, some coaches recommend stripping things away—for example, other people’s expectations, self-limiting beliefs, stereotypes, and other things that don’t serve you (Lee, 2019).

References

• Adams, G. S., Converse, B. A., Hales, A. H., & Klotz, L. E. (2021). People systematically overlook subtractive changes. Nature, 592(7853), 258-261.

• Arnold, D., Calhoun, L. G., Tedeschi, R., & Cann, A. (2005). Vicarious posttraumatic growth in psychotherapy. Journal of Humanistic Psychology, 45(2), 239-263.

• Dweck, C. S. (2008). Mindset: The new psychology of success. New York, NY: Ballantine Books.

• Page, O. (2021, July 12). How to leave your comfort zone and enter your growth zone. Positive Psychology.

• Tedeschi , R. G. & Calhoun , L. G. ( 2004 ). Posttraumatic growth: Conceptual foundations and empirical evidence. Psychological Inquiry,15,1–18.

• Taubman–Ben-Ari, O., & Weintroub, A. (2008). Meaning in life and personal growth among pediatric physicians and nurses. Death Studies, 32(7), 621-645.

Tips for Goal Setting

Learn more about how to set goals related to all aspects of your life.

Goals are defined as the desired states that people seek to obtain, maintain, or avoid (Nair, 2003). Research has shown that the simple act of setting a goal improves our performance related to that goal (Latham, & Locke, 2007). In addition, there are some strategies that can be used to set better personal goals that are easier to accomplish. The acronym SMART can help guide you when setting personal goals (Lawlor, 2012).

SMART goals are:

S - Specific

M - Meaningful

A - Achievable

R - Realistic

T - Trackable

Here are some more tips on how to make sure the personal goals you prioritize are easier to achieve.

• Set challenging goals. Set personal goals that are a little bit challenging, but not out of reach. This gets us to push ourselves a little harder.

• Set goals that matter to you. When thinking about which goals to set, be sure to focus on goals that are meaningful to you. Try to mute the voices of your friends, family, and culture for a moment to figure out what matters most to you. If you set goals that are not truly your own, they'll likely be harder to stick to.

• Commit to your goal. When we commit to a goal—in writing or by telling others—we're more likely to stick to it. We don't really want to disappoint ourselves or others.

Now that you have a sense of how to set goals, let's develop some of your own goals. Two important things to keep in mind when setting personal goals are your needs and your values.

Some have hypothesized that meeting our needs is exactly what drives us, motivates us, and leads us to set goals in the first place (Greene, & Burke, 2007). This suggests that if the personal goals we set are related to an unsatisfied need, we may be more likely to stick to them.

Although there are numerous theories related to human needs, we're going to focus here on Ryff's theory because it incorporates and synthesizes several other older theories (Ryff, 1989). The resulting six experiences are experiences we all strive for. They can therefore be useful in helping guide us in setting meaningful, high-impact goals.

Six experiences we strive for:

• Positive relationships with others. We have a need to have warm, trusting, loving relationships with others.

• Self-acceptance. We have a need to have positive feelings towards ourselves.

• Autonomy. We have a need to be able to direct our own behavior, make our own decisions, and have freedom.

• Environmental mastery. We have a need to be able to change our circumstances and advance in the world.

• Personal growth. We have a need to learn and grow as a person.

• Life purpose. We have a need to devote ourselves to something important or have a sense of meaningfulness or direction.

Anytime you set a goal, ask yourself if it helps satisfy one of these needs.

How personal values affect goals:

It's also helpful when setting personal goals to keep in mind your values. If we are pursuing goals that are inconsistent with our values, we are likely to struggle and experience internal conflict. First, make a note of which values below are most important to you.

Personal values list:

Authenticity Adventure Balance

Bravery Compassion Challenge

Citizenship Community Creativity

Curiosity Determination Fairness

Freedom Friendships Fun

Generosity Growth Honesty

Influence Justice Kindness

Knowledge Leadership Learning

Love Loyalty Openness

Optimism Recognition Respect

Responsibility Security Self-Respect

Social Connection Spirituality Stability

Status Wealth Wisdom

Anytime you set a goal, ask yourself if it goes against any of your key values.

How to Stick to Your Goals

Once you know your goals, it can be helpful to implement some strategies to stay on track. Try these out if you need help sticking to your goals:

• Track progress towards personal goals. Find a way to record progress towards your goal so that you can see how far you've come.

• Modify your long-term goals. Often, goals will shift some as we move forward. So take the time to modify your goals and make sure you're still heading where you want to go. ​

• Create your 10 year plan. Creating a 10 year plan can help you see how today's goals can set you up for tomorrow's goals. This can also help you avoid short-termism—it helps you make sure you're setting the right goals for the long term.

• Break each goal into small pieces. When your goals are broken down into smaller pieces, it's easier to see how each can be accomplished. This can give you more confidence that you can indeed reach your goals.

• Create a timeline for your goals. Try to estimate how long it will take to do each small piece of your goal. Then, map these pieces out on your calendar to estimate how long it will take you to self-actualize your bigger goal. Use this timeline to help you progress toward your goal.

Setting personal goals can be super helpful for getting to where we want to go in life. Hopefully, this guide helped you on that journey.

References

• ​Greene, L., & Burke, G. (2007). Beyond self-actualization. Journal of Health and Human Services Administration, 116-128.

• Latham, G. P., & Locke, E. A. (2007). New developments in and directions for goal-setting research. European Psychologist, 12(4), 290-300.

• Lawlor, K. B. (2012). Smart goals: How the application of smart goals can contribute to achievement of student learning outcomes. In Developments in business simulation and experiential learning: Proceedings of the annual ABSEL conference (Vol. 39).

• Nair, K. S. (2003). Life goals: the concept and its relevance to rehabilitation. Clinical Rehabilitation, 17(2), 192-202.​

• Ryff, C. D. (1989). Happiness is everything, or is it? Explorations on the meaning of psychological well-being. Journal of personality and social psychology, 57(6), 1069.

How To Use Short-Term Goals To Achieve Big Dreams

Discover how setting short-term goals can help you achieve your long-term ambitions.

A short-term goal may be something you want to do for its own sake. For example, you may want to clean out your closet, read that book that’s been collecting dust on your nightstand, save the money you need to go on a long-overdue vacation, or finally run a 10K. Or, short-term goals can also be things that you want to do in the process of accomplishing longer-term ambitions and goals. You may want to earn a professional certification so that you can broaden your career prospects, get a good grade on the next test so that you go to your first-choice college, or save money for a down payment on your first home so that you can build intergenerational wealth.

A good short-term goal may be SMART – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound (Macleod, 2012):

• Specific – You may have more success with goals that are precisely defined. The goal to “do well in biology” is not specific. A specific version of this goal might be “score at least 90% on the next three biology quizzes”.

• Measurable – How will you know whether you have successfully achieved the goal? Goals with clear criteria for success may be more effective than goals with ambiguous outcomes. “Learn cellular metabolism” may be a commendable goal, but is difficult to measure. In contrast “Be able to diagram the Krebs Cycle” is much more measurable.

• Achievable – Is this goal realistically within your reach? If you currently have a B-average in biology it may not be realistic to strive for a perfect grade. However, you may be able to work towards an A.

• Relevant – Why is this goal relevant to your long-term goals, plans, or desires? Why are you trying to achieve this goal? You may find yourself much more motivated to work towards your short-term goal if you can connect that goal to a longer-term goal. For example, you may want to connect your short-term goal of doing well in biology to your longer-term goal of attending medical school and becoming a physician.

• Time-bound – When should this goal be completed? You may be more motivated to act if you have a specific date by which you plan to have accomplished your goal.

Short-term goals, especially work goals, may be most successful when they adhere to the acronym FAST (Sull & Sull, 2018):

• F – Frequently discussed and revised as needed. Regular feedback on how things are progressing may lead to improved outcomes. Moreover, in dynamic workplaces, goals may need to be changed, reprioritized, or even eliminated.

• A – Ambitious. The most successful companies don’t limit their workforce to setting goals where success is guaranteed.

• S – Specific metrics and milestones. Goals should not be vague and should be paired with quantifiable metrics of success whenever possible.

• T – Transparent for everyone in the organization to see. Goal transparency has many benefits including eliminating redundant or unaligned work across teams, increasing accountability, and helping all employees see how their contributions fit into the organization’s broader goals.

The FAST metrics may be applied to a variety of specific work goals. For example, a marketing manager of a startup may be tasked with increasing awareness of the brand. An ambitious, specific, and transparent short-term goal that serves this longer-term objective may be to gain 100,000 followers on the organization’s Facebook page. And as new social media platforms come to prominence, this goal may need to be revised.

Using Short-Term Goals To Reach Long-Term Goals

Long-term goals are the goals and ambitions that express your beliefs, core values, and worldviews. Short-term goals are the day-to-day actions that reflect these long-term beliefs (Doran, 1981). Short-term goals may be more satisfying and fulfilling if they serve long-term goals. For example, if your long-term goal is to feel a stronger sense of community and connection within the world, you may want to choose specific short-term goals to reflect these values. Setting yourself a short-term goal of spending at least 10 hours a month in acts of service may help you work towards your long-term goal of increased connection and community.

References

• Doran, G. T. (1981). There's a S.M.A.R.T. way to write management's goals and objectives. Management Review, 70(11), 35–36.

• Macleod, L. (2012). Making SMART goals smarter. Physician Executive, 38(2), 68-72.

• Sull, D., & Sull, C. (2018). With Goals, FAST Beats SMART. MIT Sloan Management Review, 59(4), 1-11.