What Truly Makes Us Happy? The Case for Intrinsic Aspirations

In a world constantly pulling us toward achievement, image, and status, it’s easy to mistake the glitter for gold. But research—and Torah wisdom—consistently reminds us that the real treasures of life lie elsewhere.

A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the pursuit of intrinsic aspirations—such as personal growth, deep relationships, and meaningful contribution—leads to far greater and longer-lasting wellbeing than the chase after extrinsic goals like wealth, fame, and appearance. In fact, prioritizing extrinsic aspirations often correlates with increased anxiety, dissatisfaction, and even emotional distress.

So how do we align ourselves with what actually cultivates joy, purpose, and inner peace?

Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Aspirations: Two Roads Diverge

Let’s define the terms:

• Intrinsic aspirations include goals like:

  
  

  • Growing emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually

  • Building loving, authentic relationships

  • Contributing meaningfully to the world around us

• 
  

• Extrinsic aspirations focus on:

  
  

  • Accumulating wealth

  • Gaining fame or recognition

  • Enhancing physical image or outward appearance

• 
  

While both types of goals can be present in a person’s life, it’s the dominance of one over the other that shapes psychological outcomes.

The Research Is Clear: Intrinsic Goals Sustain Us

Across dozens of studies (e.g., Bradshaw et al., 2022; Kasser & Ryan, 1996; Hope et al., 2018), intrinsic aspirations consistently predict:

• Higher levels of life satisfaction

• Greater vitality and motivation

• Lower stress and emotional distress

• Deeper fulfillment over time

Why? Because intrinsic goals directly satisfy our basic psychological needs:

Autonomy (the ability to act in alignment with one’s values),

Competence (feeling effective), and

Relatedness (feeling meaningfully connected to others).

These aren’t luxuries—they’re hardwired into our biology and soul. When our goals align with them, we flourish. When they don’t, we may look successful externally, but feel empty internally.

The High Cost of Extrinsic Pursuits

Extrinsic goals rely heavily on external validation—the likes, the paychecks, the approval. While they might offer short-term boosts, they don’t address our core human needs.

The result? Studies show that those who prioritize extrinsic aspirations are more likely to experience:

• Higher anxiety and depression

• More fragile self-esteem

• Weaker relationships

• Less overall happiness

And while there are cultural and socioeconomic nuances (for example, in less affluent communities, some extrinsic goals may serve basic needs and therefore offer real benefits), the broader pattern is clear: when these goals dominate, wellbeing declines.

Can You Have Both? The Balanced Approach

Interestingly, people who score high in both intrinsic and extrinsic aspirations may fare better than those low in both. But still, intrinsic goals remain the strongest predictor of sustained wellbeing.

So the takeaway isn’t to shame external goals—but to anchor them in intrinsic values.

Want a fulfilling career? Ask how it allows you to grow or serve others.

Want financial stability? Let it support your ability to give, rest, and connect.

A Torah-Infused Lens

Jewish tradition speaks this truth clearly: “Who is rich? One who rejoices in what they have.” (Pirkei Avot 4:1)

This isn’t a call to settle for less. It’s a blueprint for living wisely—channeling our efforts toward what nourishes the soul, not just the ego.

Chassidut and Mussar both highlight the importance of inner refinement, connection to others, and service to something higher than the self—all deeply intrinsic values. These are not distractions from the good life; they are the good life.

Conclusion: The Aspiration Audit

Take a moment to reflect: What goals are driving you right now?

Which ones feel imposed? Which feel aligned?

Investing in intrinsic aspirations—like growth, connection, and contribution—is not only healthier; it’s holier. It’s the way we become vessels for blessing, channels for Divine purpose, and ultimately, more deeply fulfilled human beings.

References

• Bradshaw, E., Conigrave, J., Steward, B., Ferber, K., Parker, P., & Ryan, R. (2022). A meta-analysis of the dark side of the American dream: Evidence for the universal wellness costs of prioritizing extrinsic over intrinsic goals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000431

• Hope, N., Holding, A., Verner-Filion, J., Sheldon, K., & Koestner, R. (2018). The path from intrinsic aspirations to subjective well-being is mediated by changes in basic psychological need satisfaction and autonomous motivation: A large prospective test. Motivation and Emotion, 43, 232–241. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11031-018-9733-z

• Kasser, T., & Ryan, R. (1996). Further Examining the American Dream: Differential Correlates of Intrinsic and Extrinsic Goals. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 22, 280–287. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167296223006

• Bradshaw, E. (2020). Intrinsic and extrinsic aspirations and psychological wellbeing: A meta-analysis and latent profile analyses of life goals. Journal and Proceedings of the Royal Society of New South Wales. https://doi.org/10.26199/5D788114864B0

• Rijavec, M., Brdar, I., & Miljković, D. (2011). Aspirations and Well-Being: Extrinsic vs. Intrinsic Life Goals. Društvena Istraživanja, 20, 693–710. https://doi.org/10.5559/di.20.3.05

• Romero, E., Gómez-Fraguela, J., & Villar, P. (2012). Life Aspirations, Personality Traits and Subjective Well–Being in a Spanish Sample. European Journal of Personality, 26, 45–55. https://doi.org/10.1002/per.815

• Nishimura, T., & Suzuki, T. (2016). Aspirations and life satisfaction in Japan: The big five personality makes clear. Personality and Individual Differences, 97, 300–305. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.02.070

• Neufeld, A. (2023). Life aspirations and health in Canada: A patient-oriented study. Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science / Revue canadienne des sciences du comportement. https://doi.org/10.1037/cbs0000397

• Stevens, M., Constantinescu, P., & Butucescu, A. (2011). Aspirations and wellbeing in Romanian and US undergraduates. International Journal of Psychology: Journal International de Psychologie, 46(6), 436–445. https://doi.org/10.1080/00207594.2011.565344

• Brdar, I., Rijavec, M., & Miljković, D. (2009). Life Goals and Well-Being: Are Extrinsic Aspirations Always Detrimental to Well-Being? Psychological Topics, 18, 317–334.

• Rijavec, M., Brdar, I., & Miljković, D. (2006). Extrinsic vs. Intrinsic Life Goals, Psychological Needs and Life Satisfaction. In Proceedings from Psychology Conference, pp. 91–103.