Let’s talk about something powerful and a little surprising: compassion. According to Sefer HaMiddot (Depression, Part II 5), compassion is a segulah (a hidden superpower) for eliminating depression. Now, if you're wondering how being compassionate can actually help with mental health, you're not alone. Let’s explore this ancient wisdom with a modern twist from Dr. Kristin Neff, a psychologist who champions the science of self-compassion.
What is self-compassion? Dr. Neff breaks it down into three main components:
Self-kindness: Treating yourself with warmth and care instead of being harsh and critical.
Common humanity: Recognizing that everyone goes through tough times, and you’re not alone in your struggles.
Mindfulness: Keeping your emotions in balance—acknowledging your pain without ignoring or exaggerating it.
Self-compassion is about being gentle with yourself, realizing that struggles are a shared part of the human experience, and handling your emotions in a healthy way.
Why does self-compassion work? Research shows that self-compassion activates the brain's caregiving system, releasing oxytocin, the "love hormone." This hormone helps you feel calmer, more connected, and less anxious. On the other hand, self-criticism triggers the fight-or-flight response, flooding your body with cortisol, which can lead to feelings of depression.
In a similar way, Sefer HaMiddot teaches us that compassion can combat depression by softening the emotional challenges we face every day. Rather than sinking into self-judgment, compassion opens the door to healing and growth.
How can you use self-compassion? Here's an exercise inspired by Dr. Neff:
Exercise: Hug It Out (With Yourself) It might sound odd, but your body can’t tell the difference between a hug from someone else and one you give yourself. Physical touch releases oxytocin, which calms the body and mind. Next time you're feeling down, try this:
Find a quiet space and sit or stand comfortably.
Cross your arms and gently fold them across your chest, like you’re giving yourself a hug. If you’re in public and don’t want to feel awkward, you can cross them more loosely.
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and focus on the feeling of your arms around you.
Say something kind to yourself, like “I’m doing the best I can” or “It’s okay to feel this way.”
Practice this for a few minutes whenever you need a little comfort. It might feel strange at first, but with time, it can become a natural way to care for yourself.
Compassion, whether for others or yourself, is a powerful tool. Both ancient teachings and modern science show that treating yourself with kindness can help break the cycle of depression and give you the emotional strength to move forward.
In my book Pick Me Up HaShem, you’ll find many prayers that explore how HaShem is constantly drawing us closer to Him, inviting us into a deeper relationship through prayer and reflection. These prayers are designed to help you connect with the divine presence in a way that transcends mere requests and taps into the true purpose of prayer.
If you’re ready to dive deeper into these spiritual truths, consider studying Kabbalah, the mystical tradition that unlocks the profound secrets of our reality and draws us closer to HaShem’s divine wisdom. Delve into teachings that illuminate the “why” behind the Torah, connecting the layers of Creation in a synergized whole and offering a glimpse of HaShem in a way no other study can. From the timeless wisdom of Rabbi Chaim Vital and the Arizal to the unifying insights of Rabbi Sar-Shalom Sharabi (Rashash), Kabbalah not only transforms your spiritual understanding but also brings peace, protection, and redemption closer to our world. Sponsor my study in this sacred tradition and receive its blessings for sustenance, health, and family, ensuring that the powerful light of Kabbalah shines in your merit.
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